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This is the introduction to the "news" tab. Here you can view past articles and this tutorial article will already be displayed. Articles are never deleted and be can recovered and viewed at any time. If you like this new feature please consider writing a news article to be posted. These articles can be anything from funny cat memes to serious political junk that I don't understand. Anyways, have fun reading the articles! Notice that some articles are outdated and may have invalid information. I will try to put a notice next to invalid information for your convenience

Many people have wanted to be posted in this article with much randomness such as superman and beating people up. I could make this happen but my laziness level is unknown to human beings. So we will conclude with a short story about a guy named Jay and Sea. Anyways, Jay is a enemy with the guy named Sea, but they are in a truce. One day there is a tornado and Jay flies to Australia through the clouds. He lands on Sea. Jay is confused on how Sea got there in the first place and they get into a wrestling match in which there are walri, octipi, cacti, and the two doofi of this situation are Jay and Sea. At this moment the universe implodes, and as a grand finally it explodes. Everyone is killed including Jay and Sea.

According to most scientists, there is a person named Carrie, and she is a goddess. Also according to scientists, a new religion will be introduced involving worshipping the real goddess, Carrie. It will be called Carrie-ism. This religion involves bowing down to Carrie and saying "Blurb". Other scientists state that the actual real god is Sankalp. Nobody is quite sure how this works, but the votes are 49-51 and 49% of scientists believe in Sankalp-ism and 51% believe in Carrie-ism. There will soon be a debate over which one of these religious figures is the true god-goddess. The winner will (probably) be Carrie, for she has 51% of the votes whereas Sankalp has 49%. This concludes this news article.

The issue of Carrie-ism and Sankalp-ism rages on. Scientists have changed votes and now Carrie-ism has 70% of the votes and Sankalp-ism has 30% of the votes. This will probably tick Sankalp off and give Carrie a happy day. Anyways, to the debate. Scientists on Carrie-ism tell Sankalp-ism scientists that Carrie-ism is more complex with Sankalp-ism, because Sankalp-ism doesn't do anything. They state that saying 'blurb' is one of the most complex ways of worship. Many scientists are agreeing, and are waiting for the Almighty Sankalp go forth with new efforts to establish a greater religion. Until then Carrie-ism is the new leading religion, and massive mobs of people crowd around Carrie, getting on their knees, and bow saying 'blurb.' Sankalp has about one follower, named Joe. He likes McDonalds and decides following Sankalp will get him free McDonalds. This concludes today's report about Sankalp-ism and Carrie-ism.

There once was a man named Joe. He was born on 1904. He tried lemonade when he turned 5, in 1909. He created his first lemonade in 1914, when he was 10. He opened his business and lived peacefully until he turned 26 in 1930. By then he had millions of dollars. He decided to give everyone in the world lemons! Nobody knew what they were for, but were grateful. When he was 32 in 1936 he was super famous. For 30 years he placed random 50 gallon containers of lemonade around the world. He turned 62 in 1966 and retired for the rest of his life. In year 2000 he was 96 and killed himself because he thought the world would end. I found one of those 50 gallon containers and put him in the credits. His lemonade was delicious! I still remember Joe to this day.

Today we discuss the age old topic. What is the difference between apple juice and apple cider? For one, apple juice tastes horrible when it is warm. Also, apple juice is (mostly) imported from China, giving it that apple concentrate flavor. Either way, China is amazing. Apple cider is kind of puply and tastes like it was actually made with apples. Let's just say that apple cider tastes like it was freshly made, yet poorly made. This concludes 'What is the difference between apple juice and apple cider'

The war rages on. Carrie is still in the lead. A new phrase has been devoloped. If you find something outrageous, or amazing, one could say "OMB" (oh my blurb) to express extreme emotion. Sankalp-ism has made a swift response with OM? (Do you want to go get food? Joe replies swiftly and hopes for McDonalds). Very confusing. A theroey about Carrie-ism hints they are terriosts. Saying OMB sounds like BOMB. You can never know... This concludes this article

Today, we will not be discussing sarcasm. Sense the sarcasm? Sarcasm is a very interesting concept, involving a person saying a statement that isn't true in their view, and saying it in an obvious voice. Some people do not understand sarcasm and frustrate the sarcastic people and make them say more sarcastic stuff. Consider the following example:

"Let's go do (something stupid)," -other guy

"Sure... Such a smart idea..." -me

"Okay! Let's do it!" Other guy

"And why don't we do (something else stupid) while we're at it..." - Me sarcastically

"Sounds great!" - other guy

*mutters* "idiot" and stalks off - me

That's how sarcasm works. Amazing.

News flash: OMB does not translate to BOMB. When interviewing Carrie, she said it was MOMB, then BOMB(Woah!) then COMB. So OMB means COMB. We will need to learn what this C means. Meanwhile, it is SANKALP-ISM day! This is the day Sankalp was brought to Earth by the ancient (insert cool name) gods! McDonalds is now giving free food to Sankalp-ists, yet Sankalp is vegetarian so he enjoys some highly overpriced Panera. This concludes today's article of Sankalp-ism vs Carrie-ism. The votes are currently 50-50 and the feature of voting on which you believe in will soon come to this website. MAY THE BEST RELIGION WIN!

Sankalp's new line of somewhat-origami-starwars line is now taking in orders. His line includes: "Everything starwars". This proves to be a great turn for Sankalp-ism, as he provides all followers of sankalp-ism: FREE COMPLIMENTARY YODAS. If you you want to make an order, please make a folded post-it that has your order on it. Currently, the limit of orders is 5. Soon this will be a fundraiser, fighting against poverty in India. Currently the origami is free, but you can donate this cause. Soon these will have a price, but it is still being decided: It will be a dollar or less.

Yesterday, Carrie changed the COMB of OMB to MOMB. We don't know why. It sort of sounds like MOM but we don't know if this means anything. Meanwhile (in a previous post) Sankalp has a fundraiser! The war rages on, but because of Sankalp's kindness to fighting against poverty in India, the votes have tilted to 60-40 with Sankalp in the lead. Joe tried to steal some fundraiser money, and Sankalp told him this was against Sankalp-ism to steal, and now Joe is banished. On this day Joeanity is created. Joeanity values McDonalds, greed, theivery, and money... The votes got tilted to 85-10-5 with 85% on Joe, 10% on Sankalp, and 5% on Carrie. WHAT HAS HAPPENED! SOMETHING MUST BE DONE

The batman tab has been intoduced! Go there for all Batman games, photos, and websites(all appropriate) to fulfill your batman needs. Famed mathematician JTY has invented a new constant: the bat-constant.The bat constant is a new number introduced very recently, the number which has the absolute value of infinity, -0. Mathamaticians JTY and Bruce Wayne( Who is in no way related to Batman) are verifying if this namber is an actual idea, or a conjecture. In other news, the Sankalp-ism/ Carrie-ism debate is tied, with votes being 50/50. But Bruce Wayne’s company, Wayne enterprises, has uncovered the suprising truth: Carrie-ism is terrorism. Sankalp-ism is also hosting a fundraiser to save India from poverty. This concludes our news article. For more info, talk to Bruce Wayne, JTY, Sankalp, or the TheGenieOfTruth

Carrie: "My religion is so that people can come together" (chuckling...) "And unite.. In... Peace???" (giggling...) "And I don't want people to think that I am a terroism religion." - Carrie.

Joe: "GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY! I WANT A BIG MAC" - Joe. Well then. I guess that isn't going as planned.

Sankalp: "My religion values that everyone should be equal and everyone should get equal chances to um, um do something with their life... For example: With poverty people are put into a poverty situation which they cannot get out of without help. Also my religion follows um, all friends should stay friends. And we believe in seeing the good in other people." Well. Sankalp said um. Three times.